Category:Uncle Fatty
From StoneHome
Uncle Fatty is a game developer who can't keep his filthy paws out of other fields, notably C++, pattern-oriented design, web standards, database design, and armchair quarterbacking just about everything but football. He likes to pretend that he can write, cook, and play piano, but everyone else knows that none of those things are true. Uncle Fatty is fifteen feet tall, has coffee instead of blood, and is the last survivor of an ancient race dedicated to preventing the return of the Pointy Haired Bosses of the East. Uncle Fatty has only a little blood on his hands, but mostly because of timing, and that's expected to change soon.
Uncle Fatty is what most people would call a pedant, save that his nature tends to require he point out that that's not what a pedant is. One of those who tends to try to explain everything in terms of programming, Uncle Fatty has lately become fascinated with the relationship between patterns and idioms between languages, and in the fine numerological tradition of the bible code and gamblers with a system is currently applying appalling amounts of spare CPU time to finding relationships where no relationships exist, in search of God's name or the Pi code or Knuth's breakfast or some damned thing.
Uncle Fatty is very interested in generalized solutions, and is currently building a large-ish, secret-ish game construction toolkit. Luckily, since he can't keep a secret to save his life, if you just sit with him on IRC for ten minutes you'll know more about it than you care to. Uncle Fatty insists that this isn't some lame, genre-throttling piecemeal bullshit that turns out the same game over and over again (coughsierracough,) but actual significant algorithms and implementations of higher level wheels like A* and AI mechanisms and minigame systems and whatever, but since he won't really show much of it off (those are the small things) nobody's really sure if he's got a gold mine or is just blowing smoke. (What the silly humans don't realize is that both are true. I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!)
Since coming to this backwater planet, Uncle Fatty has masqueraded as a network engineer, software architect and PHB pincushion in order to infiltrate key points in ISPs, contractors to the Riverside Police Department, various branches of the US Military, rudimentary New Jersey universities and the US Chess Federation. So far, his nefarious schemes go undetected.
You may read Uncle Fatty's puny earth resumé, look at various embarrassing sample engineering travesties, identify his many aliases and underworld connections, or be saddened and guilt-ridden by his underdeveloped sense of humor and tiny cognitive abilities. If you're a budding Jane Goodall, you can even contact uncle fatty, doubtless through some series of grunts, whistles, angry posturing and candies.
Surprisingly, Uncle Fatty is not actually fat. Go figure.
